求高人批改雅思作文,请问这样能拿多少分呢?
Atpresent,anexcellenteducationisnot
simplyconfinedtothedeliveryofknowledge.Itinvolovesthecultivationof
differentconsciousness.Sowhetherthesenseofcompetitionorcooperation
shouldbeencouragedinchildrenarousescontroversy.
Competitioniswidelythroughttobethe
maindrivingforceforhumankind.Withoutthecompetition,peoplewouldgaina
senseoffulfillmentratherthanthecrisisawareness.Theyevenbecomeslothful
andbeunwillingtoconfrontwiththeriskandchallenge.Sothesenseof
competitioncanprovidepeoplewiththemotivationwhichcaninspirethemtobe
aggressive.Also,competitioncanhelpindividualtostimulatetheabilityand
fulfillthepotentialsincepeoplewilldotheirutmosttodefeattheirrivals
underthepressure.Additionally,comparedwithothercompetitors,peoplewould
findtheirownshortcomingsanddrawonothers'strengths,therebybettering
themselves.
However,thesenseofcompetitionmaylead
peopletobeselfishandpretentious,soitisessentialforchildrentolearn
tocooperatewithothersascooperationisbeneficialtostengthenbondsamong
children,avoidconflictsandmakethemunderstandtheimportanceofteam
spirit,especiallywhentheyaredoingsomegroupactivitiessuchasthe
footballmatchandshortplay.Further,cooperationcanpromotethedevelopment
ofcommunicationskillswhichcontributestowardstheabiliestoorganizeand
coordinate.Mostimportantly,effectivecooperationcanboosttheefficiencyand
savethetimeandmoney.Thatistosay,therewouldbeawin-winsituationfor
people,onconditionthattheylearntobuildcooperativerelationships.
Bothcompetitionandcooperationare
integralpartsofhumanlives,theybecomeincreasinglyinterralatedand
interdependent.Therefore,Ithinkpeopleshouldhelptheirchildrentostrikea
balancebetweenthemandIbelievechildrencaninspireeachotherandachievecommonprogressbykeepingacompetitivethroughtinc