字典翻译 问答 小学 作文 【说实话本人作文很差~第一次考作文5.5只有这个是下午刚写的.能不能麻烦考过雅思的或者雅思高手帮忙看下.大概能有多少分呢?然后错误以及意见呢?题目Improvementsinhealth,educationandtradeareess】
问题标题:
【说实话本人作文很差~第一次考作文5.5只有这个是下午刚写的.能不能麻烦考过雅思的或者雅思高手帮忙看下.大概能有多少分呢?然后错误以及意见呢?题目Improvementsinhealth,educationandtradeareess】
问题描述:

说实话本人作文很差~第一次考作文5.5只有

这个是下午刚写的.能不能麻烦考过雅思的或者雅思高手帮忙看下.大概能有多少分呢?然后错误以及意见呢?

题目Improvementsinhealth,educationandtradeareessentialforthedevelopmentofpoornations.however,thegovernmentsofrichernationsshouldtakemoreresponsibilitiesforhelpingthepoorernationsinsucharea.

Agreeordisagree?

作文如下:

Inpresentday,theproblemsofpovertybecomeanobstacletothedevelopmentofpoorcountriesintheworld.Itissignificanttoimprovethedevelopmentofhealth,educationandtradeinthenationswithpoverty.However,therehasbeenmuchdiscussionrevolvingaroundtheissueofwhetherthewealthynationsshouldtakemoreobligationstoassisttheimpoverishednationsinsuchareas.Intheseassay,Iwillcompareandcontrasttwotypicalopinionsregardingthisissue.

Somepeopletendtothinkthatthedeprivednationsshouldeasepovertydependonthemselvesinsteadofbeggingforwell-offnations'helpsuchlikepovertyalleviationevenifthoseactionscanrelievepovertyinashortterm.Specifically,improvementsinhealth,educationandtradeplayanessentialroleindevelopmentofneedynationsasfollowingreasons.Atfirst,improvementinhealthcanbenefitcitizen'slifeandalsocontributetosocialstability.Secondly,itismeaningfulforfosteringtalentandnationalculturewithlong-termadvantagesbypayingmuchmoreattentiontotheimprovementsineducation.Lastbutnottheleast,trade,oneofthecrucialpartofeconomicgrowth,canpromotetheeconomiccooperationsintheworldthatcancontributetosolvingtheproblemsofpoverty.

Admittedly,thegovernmentsofrichernationsshouldtaketheresponsibilitiesforhelpingthepoorernationsinsuchareas.Thereasonforthisisthatthedevelopedcountrieshavetheadvantagesofeconomicabilitytofundthepoornations.Additionally,tokeepthedutiesofhelpingthepooralsoobeythemoralstandards.Evenso,richernationscouldnotalwayshelpthepoorercountriesineveryaspect.Onlythoseneedynationscouldstandontheirownfeetcantheyhavethelong-termdevelopment.

Overall,Iwouldconcedethatthegovernmentsofrichercountriesshouldtakemoreresponsibilitiesforassistingthepoorercountries.Despitethat,th

郭荣江回答:
  亲爱的同学第一句就有错误是atpresentday,后面那句结构冗长杂乱.全文结构是明晰的,但是部分短语词汇的用法欠妥.有待提高啊.我给分5
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