求改一下鄙人的英语作文,是要给英国外教看的,不想给中国人丢脸TT,如果加一些高级句子就更好了

题目是说一下你认为中国目前较为严重的问题,并提出解决方法

我的拟题：中国高考问题严重,各方家长牺牲学生的自由时间去补课.

以下是鄙人的英语作文,请大胆修正!

Inchina,ithinkthemostseriousproblemiseducatonabouttheuniversityentranceexam.

In2012,thereare300thousandstudentstookpartintheuniversityexam.Inspiteoftherateofpassingwas75%,therewerestillamojarityofpeoplewantingtogotothetopschoolwhichcalled"211project"and"985project",likeTheIvyLeagueUniversityinAmerica,representedthetoplevelofthenation.

Toachievethisgoal,studentsinhighschoolattendkindsoftutorials,learningmarth,english,physicsandsoon.Atthesametime,parentsareinfavouroftheactivitiesthattheirchildrenstudyintheweekend.Forexample,myauntpaid100yuanperhourofaclassgenerouslyinordertoimproveherson'sgrade.Atschool,teacherstreatstuentsseriouslyatworktoo.Honestly,studentshavefewfreetimetodoanyotherthingsexcepstudyinhighschoollife.

Wecan'tstopthinkingaboutthereasonwhysituationisgoinglikethis?MaybethereasonisStudyistheonlywaytomakeyousuccessfulinchineseopinion,ifyoudonotworkhard,youwillfallbehind.

Finally,howtheproblemcanbesolved?Infact,manyteenagersaresenttoaboardtoescapethechineseuniversityentanceexaminrecentyears.Also,governmenthaveputanewpolicyintopracticecalledindependentrecruitment.Headmasterofthecollegewillinterviewthestudent,ifheorshebehavesgoodenough,heorshecanentancetheuniversitywithoutexam.