字典翻译 问答 小学 作文 【帮忙评论一下大学六级作文~1、新闻舆论使“富二代”一词进入人们的视线2、有人认为富二代是堕落的一代3、我的看法各位路过大侠,希望能帮在下一把,对下面这篇文章指点批评一下,感激不】
问题标题:
【帮忙评论一下大学六级作文~1、新闻舆论使“富二代”一词进入人们的视线2、有人认为富二代是堕落的一代3、我的看法各位路过大侠,希望能帮在下一把,对下面这篇文章指点批评一下,感激不】
问题描述:

帮忙评论一下大学六级作文~

1、新闻舆论使“富二代”一词进入人们的视线

2、有人认为富二代是堕落的一代

3、我的看法

各位路过大侠,希望能帮在下一把,对下面这篇文章指点批评一下,感激不尽……

IsRichSecondGenerationtheFallenGeneration

Nowadays,whetherrichsecondgenerationisthefallengenerationhasbecomeaheatargumentamongpublic.Asmanynegativenewsabouttheserichyoungpeopleinthenewspaperandtelevisioneveryday,manypeoplethinktheyarethefallengeneration,butothersdonotthinkso.

Thefavorersthinkthatfirstlytheseyoungpeopleregardspendingmoneylavishlyasordinarything.Secondly,theyalwaysdevelopasenseofsuperoritybecausetheirrichbackgroundandlookdownonotherpeople.Thirdly,astheyconsiderthattheirfamilyucanaffordthemawholelife,thereisnoneedtobediligenceandandperseverance.Whattheyshoulddo,ontheirminds,istoenjoytheirlife.Atlast,theywilllagbehindtheirpeers,andhavenocompetenceandadvantages.

SomearenotagreetheaboveideasandIamoneofthesepeople.Inmyopinion,whatnewsreportedisjustaminorityofrichsecondgeneration.It’sunfairtojudgetheseyoungpeopledependingonsolittlenegativenews.Maybeteyareevenexaggerated.What’smore,theproperityismadebytheirparents,sotheseparentsknowhowtoeducatetheirchildrentomaintainanddeveloptheseproperity.Theymustnotallwotheirchildrentosquander.Afterall,richsecondgenerationisnotadistinguishedgeneration.It’sunfairtoputthemintothecategoryofthefallengeneration.

葛强回答:
  作者水平挺不错的啊,小小的提下建议好了,做个参考,whetherrichsecondgenerationisthefallengenerationhasbeenbroughttothepublicattention.改后的这一句比较不常见的havebeen句式好一点吧,newspapersandtelevisions,复数吧,Asmanynegativenewsabouttheserichyoungpeopleinthenewspaperandtelevision这句是不是可以改成with的伴随结构好些那,如withmoreandmorenegativenewsabouttheserichyoungpeopleappearinginthenewspapersandtelevisions,Thefavorersthinkthatfirstly这句有些别扭吧,去掉firstly吧,第二句就用普通的连接词也没什么,如inaddition之类的,becausetheirrichbackground,后接名词应改为becauseof,awholelife,是不是应该把a改为the,thereisnoneedtobediligentandandpersevering原句用名词不对应该改形容词,Somearenotagreetheaboveideas,用agreeon吧,我不太确定,要不直接用against得了,Theymustnotallwotheirchildrentosquander禁止吗?would是不是好些,最后Afterall,richsecondgenerationisnotadistinguishedgeneration这句什么意思怎么就突然冒出一句,毕竟,富二代不是杰出的一代了,你想表达的不是这个意思吧,你应该是想说inaword,richsecondgenerationisnotdegenerategeneration吧
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