问题标题：
求帮忙改一下英语自我介绍,我自己写的,因为不懂语法全靠语感,所以想请英语大神帮忙看看,感谢啊``(大学会计ACCA专业要从已录取的其他专业学生中再增加招收30人,需要英语面试,跪求帮忙啊,
问题描述：
求帮忙改一下英语自我介绍,我自己写的,因为不懂语法全靠语感,所以想请英语大神帮忙看看,感谢啊``
(大学会计ACCA专业要从已录取的其他专业学生中再增加招收30人,需要英语面试,跪求帮忙啊,觉得有必要可以帮忙加内容)Itisreallymyhonortohavethisopportunitytointroducemyselfbriefly.MynameisXX,comefromHubeiprovince.AlthoughIam17yearsold,Istilllookveryshortandthin.Perhapsitismynotdoingexercisesregularlythatcontributestothisresult.ButIlikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner.Iconsideritasagoldentimeoftheday,becauseIfeelhappy.AnotherthingIcangetsamefeelingsislisteningtomusic.Tobehonest,IprefertolistenEnglishmusicratherthanChinesemusic.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.Ithinkhersongissoinspirational.Ioftensinkmyselfintothemusicbeforefallasleep.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniaandseeKatyPerryinreality.SoIlikelearningandspeakingEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butIalsocanlearntobeanaccountantasIhope.ThisisthereasonwhyI’mbeinghere.IknowI’mnotoutstandingnow.butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeformetocatchupwithothers.IwilltrytobethebestbecauseI’mwillingtofacechallenges.EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall,thankyou.
郭晓疆回答：
i'mveryhonouredtohavethisopportunitytointroducemyself.MynameisXX,comingfromHubeiprovince.Iam17yearsold,butIstilllookveryshortandthin.Perhapsitisnotdoingexercisesregularlythatcontributestothisresult.Ilikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner.Iconsideritasagoldentimeoftheday,becauseitmakemehappy.AnotherthingIcangetthesamefeelingislisteningtomusic.Tobehonest,IprefertoEnglishmusicratherthanChinesemusic.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.Ithinkhersongisveryinspirational.Ioftensinkmyselfintothemusicbeforefallingasleep.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniatoseeKatyPerryinreality,thisinspiresmetolearnandspeakEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butalsoIcanlearntobeanaccountantasIhope.ThisisthereasonwhyI’mbeinghere.IknowI’mnotanoutstandingpersonnow,butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeformetocatchupwithothers.IwilltrymybesttobethebestbecauseI’mwillingtofacechallenges.EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall,thankyou.
陈嘉琦回答：
Itisreallymyhonortohavethisopportunitytointroducemyselfbriefly.MynameisXX.IcomefromHubeiProvince.AlthoughIam17yearsold,Istilllookveryshortandthin.PerhapsitismynotdoingexercisesregularlythatHAScontributeDtothisresult.Ilikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner,WHICHIconsiderasagoldentimeofday,ANDTHATMAKESMEhappy.AnotherthingIcangetTHEsameGOODfeelingsislisteningtomusicANDSONGS.Tobehonest,IWOULDprefertolistenEnglishSONGSratherthanChineseONES.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.Ithinkhersongissoinspirational.IoftensinkmyselfintothemusicbeforefallINGasleep.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniaandseeKatyPerryPERSONALLY.SoIlikelearningandspeakingEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butIalsocanlearntobeanaccountantasIhopeTO.ThisisthereasonwhyI’mSPEAKINGhere.IknowI’mnotoutstandingnow.butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeTHATICANMAKEGOODUSEOFtocatchupwithothers.IwilltrytobethebestbecauseI’mwillingtofacechallenges.EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall,thankyou.
孙远辉回答：
Itisreallymyhonortohavethisopportunitytointroducemyselfbriefly.MynameisXX,andIcomefromHubeiprovince.AlthoughIam17yearsold,andstillalittleshortandthin.PerhapsbecauseIdonotlikedoingexercises.ButIlikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner.Iconsideritasagoldentimeofthewholeday,becauseIcanenjoymyself.ListeningmusicisanotherthingIcangetsamefeelings.Tobehonest,IpreferlisteningEnglishmusicratherthanChinese.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.Ithinkhersongissoinspirational.Ioftensinkmyselfintothemusicbeforefallasleep.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniaandseeKatyPerrypersonally.SoIlikelearningandspeakingEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butIcanlearnhowtobeanaccountantasIhope.ThisisthereasonwhyI’mstandinghere.IknowI’mnotoutstandingnow.butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeformetocatchupwithothers.IwilltrytobethebestbecauseI’mwillingtofacechallenges.EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall,thankyou.
冯桂珍回答：
第5行前面没有onething后面不能用anotherthing
listento
第7行Hersong....makesmeadeepimpression
地8行inreality改为facetoface
butIalsocanlearntobeanaccountantasIhope改为butalsoicouldrealizemydeeamtobeanaccountant
加上句Wherethereisawilthereisaway!
罗玉臣回答：
Itis（不可用really）my（加great）honortohavethisopportunitytointroducemyself（可省briefly）.MynameisXX。（加Iam）fromHubeiprovince.AlthoughI（不可用still）lookveryshortandthin，（不要说你平时不运动！！Iam17yearsold,.Perhapsitismynotdoingexercisesregularlythatcontributestothisresult.But）Ilikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner.Iconsideritasagoldentimeoftheday,becauseIfeel（really）happy（todosomeexercisewithmyfamily).（用个更地道的AnotherthingIcangetsamefeelingsislisteningtomusic.）（加Also,Iamcrazyaboutmusic!)Tobehonest,IprefertolistenEnglishmusicratherthanChinesemusic.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.(去掉Ithink）hersong，，isso（改inspirational为inspiring).I（去often为always)sinkmyselfintothemusic(有歧义，去掉beforefallasleep）.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniaandseeKatyPerryin(去reality,当面是inperson).SoIlikelearningandspeakingEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butalsoIcanlearntobeanaccountantasIhope.(Iwilneverbemoreactiveorhappyorwell-preparedthaniamrightnow,Iwanttomakethemostofmycollegelife)ThisisthereasonwhyI’mbeinghere.(去Iknow）MaybeyouthinkI’mnotoutstandingnow.(加Howvever,Iamnothingbutaquitehardworkingstudent.)(去butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeformetocatchupwithothers).Iwill(去tryto自信点嘛！）bethebestherebecauseI’mwillingtoface（any）challenges.（去EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall）（加itisme,xxx,a17-year-oldboy/girlwithmyowndream.Willyouchooseher/him?Iwishyouthebestofluckineverythingyoudo!thankyou).
学长，加油你一定行的！：）
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