WeChinesearenotbighuggers.Ahandshakeorapatontheshoulderisenoughtoconveyourfriendshiporaffectiontooneanother.Sowhenournewly-acquaintedWesternfriendsreachoutinpreparationforahugsomeofusfeelawkward.

Manyquestionsgothroughourhead.WhereshouldIputmyarms?Undertheirarmpitsoraroundtheirneck?WhatdistanceshouldImaintain?Shouldourcheststouch?

It’sevenmoredifficultwithfriendsfromsomeEuropeancountries.ShouldIkissthemonthecheekwhilehugging?Whichside?Orisitbothcheeks?WhichsideshouldIstarton?

Butitisn’tjustpeoplefromculturesthatemphasizeareservednessinexpressingphysicalintimacy(亲密)whofindhuggingconfusing.Hugscancausediscomfortorevendistressinpeoplewhovaluetheirpersonalspace.

InarecentarticleforTheWallStreetJournalUSpsychologistPeggyDrexlersaidthatalthoughtheUSremainsa“mediumtouch”culture—“morephysicallydemonstrativethanJapanwhereabowistheall-purposehelloandgoodbyebutlessdemonstrativethanLatinorEasternEuropeancultureswherehugsarestrongandcanincludeakissonbothcheeks”Americansdoseemtobehuggingmore.

Frompoliticianstocelebritieshugsaregivenwilly-nillytofriendsstrangersandenemiesalike;andthepublichasbeenquicktopickupthepractice.Publicfiguresknowthatnothingprojectsliketheabilityasagoodhug.USFirstLadyMichelleObamahasputherarmsaroundicyforeignleaderslikeRussianPrimeMinisterDmitryMedvedevandtheQueenofEnglandonthelatteroccasionactuallybreakingtheruleofroyalmanners.

Butnotallaregratefultobeembracedevenbythemostinfluentialandfamous.Tothemanyhugisoffensiveifit’snotsincere.

AmandaHesswritingforUSmagazineSlatesayspublicfiguresshouldstopimposinghugsoneveryonetheymeet.Forthemahugisrarelyagestureofsincerefellowshipcompassionoraffection.It’sallpartofashow.Hugsarefalselyintimatepowerplaysusedbypublicfigurestoestablishtheirsocialdominanceoverthoseintheirgrasp.

CeciliaWaldenaBritishjournalistwritingforTheTelegraphwholivesinNewYorkholdsthesameopinion.“Power-hugging”asshecallsitis“anoffenderdressedupaskindness”.Ithasbecomeafashioni