WhyIwantawife 　　Ibelongtothatclassificationofpeopleknownaswives.Iamawife.And,notaltogetherincidentally,Iamamother. 　　Nottoolongagoamalefriendofmineappearedonthescenefreshfromarecentdivorce.Hehadonechild,whois,ofcourse,withhisex-wife.Heislookingforanotherwife.AsIthoughtabouthimwhileIwasironingoneevening,itsuddenlyoccurredtomethatI,too,wouldliketohaveawife.WhydoIwantawife? 　　IwouldliketogobacktoschoolsothatIcanbecomeeconomicallyindependent,supportmyself,andifneedbe,supportthosedependentuponme.Iwantawifewhowillworkandsendmetoschool.AndwhileIamgoingtoschoolIwantawifetotakecareofmychildren.Iwantawifetokeeptrackofthechildren'sdoctoranddentistappointments.Andtokeeptrackofmine,too.Iwantawifetomakesuremychildreneatproperlyandarekeptclean.Iwantawifewhowillwashthechildren'sclothesandkeepthemmended.Iwantawifewhoisagoodnurturantattendanttomychildren,whoarrangesfortheirschooling,makessurethattheyhaveanadequatesociallifewiththeirpeers,takesthemtothepark,thezoo,etc.Iwantawifewhotakescareofthechildrenwhentheyaresick,awifewhoarrangestobearoundwhenthechildrenneedspecialcare,because,ofcourse,Icannotmissclassesatschool.Mywifemustarrangetolosetimeatworkandnotlosethejob.Itmaymeanasmallcutinmywife'sincomefromtimetotime,butIguessIcantoleratethat.Needlesstosay,mywifewillarrangeandpayforthecareofthechildrenwhilemywifeisworking. 　　Iwantawifewhowilltakecareofmyphysicalneeds.Iwantawifewhowillkeepmyhouseclean.Awifewhowillpickupaftermychildren,awifewhowillpickupafterme.Iwantawifewhowillkeepmyclothesclean,ironed,mended,replacedwhenneedbe,andwhowillseetoitthatmypersonalthingsarekeptintheirproperplacesothatIcanfindwhatIneedtheminuteIneedit.Iwantawifewhocooksthemeals,awifewhoisagoodcook.Iwantawifewhowillplanthemenus,dothenecessarygroceryshopping,preparethemeals,servethempleasantly,andthendothecleaningupwhileIdomystudying.IwantawifewhowillcareformewhenIamsickandsympathizewithmypainandlossoftimefromschool.IwantawifetogoalongwhenourfamilytakesavacationsothatsomeonecancontinuetocareformeandmychildrenwhenIneedarestandchangeofscene. 　　Iwantawifewhowillnotbothermewithramblingcomplaintsaboutawife'sduties.ButIwantawifewhowilllistentomewhenIfeeltheneedtoexplainaratherdifficultpointIhavecomeacrossinmycourseofstudies.AndIwantawifewhowilltypemypapersformewhenIhavewrittenthem. 　　Iwantawifewhowilltakecareofthedetailsofmysocialwife.WhenmywifeandIareinvitedoutbymyfriends,Iwantawifewhowilltakecareofthebabysittingarrangements.WhenImeetpeopleatschoolthatIlikeandwanttoentertain,Iwantawifewhowillhavethehouseclean,willprepareaspecialmeal,serveittomeandmyfriends,andnotinterruptwhenItalkaboutthingsthatinterestmeandmyfriends.Iwantawifewhowillhavearrangedthatthechildrenarefedandreadyforbedbeforemyguestsarrivesothatthechildrendonotbotherus.Iwantawifewhotakescareoftheneedsofmyguestssothattheyfeelcomfortable,whomakessurethattheyhaveanashtray,thattheyarepassedthehorsd'oeuvres,thattheyareofferedasecondhelpingofthefood,thattheirwineglassesarereplenishedwhennecessary,t