雅思大作文修改求分数.
manycountrieschildrenengagedinsomekindofpaidwork.Somepeopleregardthisascompletelywrong,whileothersconsideritasvaluableworkexperience,importantforlearning&takingresponsibility.
作文如下：
Inthepresentage,itisgenerallyarguablethatwhethershouldchildrenbebusywithsomemoney-makingjobs.Somepeoplebelievethatthisactionistotallywrongwhilemanyothersarguethatpaidworkcanaffordworkexperiencewhichissignificantforstudyandtakingobligations.AsfarasIamconcerned,iaminfavoroftheformerview.
Thereisnodenythattheknowledgetaughtfromschoolinglaythefoundationfortheemploymentoftheyoungstudents.Hence,childrenshouldconcentrateonstudyfirstlyandmainly.Moreover,beingengagedinsomekindofpart-timejobmayoccupytheirtimeforstudy.Forinstance,youngstermayfallbehindtheothersasaconsequenceofspendingmajortimeonpaidwork.Lastbutnottheleast,workinginflexiblesocietywouldemergevarietyofpossibleproblems.Forexample,somechildlabourersaskchildrentodosomeillegalworkswhichcouldleadtoseriousphysicalandemotionalhazards.
Admittedly,valuableworkexperienceisbeneficialtoyoungster.Thereasonforthisisthatyoungstudentscanlearnhowtotakeresponsibilitiesandpromotetheiradaptability.Evenso,paidworkmaymakethechildrentoonlyconcentrateonmakingmoneyinsteadofstudy.Moreover,someyoungsterwouldliketostepintosocietyandleaveofftheirstudy.
Overall,iwouldconcedethatpaidworkhavesomemeritsonenrichingworkexperienceandcontributingtotheabilitytosurvive.Despitethat,childrenthatengagedinmakingmoneymaycausemanypossibleseriousdangerousproblems.Insummary,iamconvincedthatgovernmentshouldmakelawstoregulatethemarketofchildlabourandmonitorthechildrenworkinreasonabletime.