问题标题：
请帮我看看这篇英语作文,关于魏晨的!MyfavouritesingerisVision.Hewasthethirdprizeofthesuperboysingingcompetition.He‘sVERYHARDinsingsingandverykindtohisfamily.hewasbornin1986,heis22now.Hissmilemakeletma
问题描述：
请帮我看看这篇英语作文,关于魏晨的!
MyfavouritesingerisVision.
Hewasthethirdprizeofthesuperboysingingcompetition.
He‘sVERYHARDinsingsingandverykindtohisfamily.
hewasbornin1986,heis22now.Hissmilemakeletmanypeoplerememberhim.Hehasmanyfans,Iamoneofhisfans.
‘Iwilldomybestinstudyingandsingsing.I’llsingmanygoodsongsformyfamilies,teachers,friendsandmydearfans.’SaidVision
IamsoproundthatIcanjoininsuchahappilyteam,Wewanthecansingmorebeautifuisongsforpeople.Webelievehimcanletussmileandfeelhappily.
Thisismyidol__Vision,ahardandkindboy.
丁正平回答：
Hewasthethirdprizeof``````这一句有点问题
He‘sVERYHARDinsingsing也有点问题,要是我会写Heisworkinghardinsinging不知道对不对哦```
Hissmilemakeletmanypeoplerememberhim.这句不对可以把make去掉
Hehasmanyfans,Iamoneofhisfans.有点重复,最好改成Hehasmanyfans,Iamoneofthem.
Iwilldomybestinstudyingandsingsing.不太正确,可以改成Iwilldomybestonmystudyandsingsing.Study可以作名词表学业,学习.
I’llsingmanygoodsongsformyfamilies.里的many可以改成more,更合适一点.
suchahappilyteam这个happily要改成happy吧.
Wewanthecansingmorebeautifuisongsforpeople.可以改成Wehopehecansingmoregoodsongsforus(people).更好一点.
Webelievehimcanletussmileandfeelhappily.这里的him要改成he,happily改成happy.
ahardandkindboy这里hard改成hardworking.hard单独讲好像只能表示难.
还有,可爱的亲,英语里的句号只能是".".也就是把输入法换成英语后打出来的那个句号,记着哦~
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不错哦,加油~~~我也是乐橙~~呵呵~~~~
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