请教英语高手帮我修改一下英语复试自我介绍,急用,

Goodafternoon,dearprofessors!

Itismygreathonortobehereforthisinterview.Mynameisxxx.I’m23yearsoldandIcomefromaverybeautifulCoastalcity–青岛.I'llbegraduatedwithmajorof"xxx"inxxxUniversityinJuly2011.Meanwhile,Iamaimingforthecontinuousstudiesofxx专业inXX学校.

Ihavebeenworkingdiligentlyatmymajor.Ihavebuiltupasolidfoundationforprofessionalknowledgeandcomprehensivelyimprovedmyquality.

Iamamanfullofpassionandenthusiasm）.AlwaysIaminterestedinfreshthingsandIwillbeenergeticwhenconfrontedwithdifficulties.Iamaperseverantperson.OnceIsetmyselfagoal,Iwillfightforitwithallmyeffortsuntilthelastmoment.Iamalsoaneasygoingpersonenjoyingafinerelationshipwithpeoplearoundandatthesametime,I’malsoamanofteamspirit.

Inmysparetime,Ilikedoingsomesportsandreadingsomenews.Tabletennisandjoggingaremyfavoritesport.Theykeepmeingoodhealth,fullofenergyandbreedoptimismtowardslife.Byreadingnews,Icouldknowwhat’sgoingoninthesociety.

IhavelongadmiredXX学校becauseofitshighlyqualifiedfacultyandstrongacademicenvironmentinthefieldofXX专业.IamconfidentthatIamaveryqualifiedapplicantforyoursubjectgroup.

Peoplealwayssaidwhenyougetupinthemorning,youhave2choices:(1)goonsleeping,goondreaming;(2)getuptopursueyourdream.I'llchoosethe2ndchoice-topursuemydream.Isincerelyhopethatyou,dearProfessors,willgrantmeachancetopursuemydream

最好能说明下为什么这么改让我也知道个所以然...