诚请雅思大牛帮我批改一下作文.题目:Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemale
studentsineverysubject.:
Incontemperorytime,manypeopleclaimthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudent,whichmakesnosensetome.
Asthecompetitionisincreasinglystiff,educationcircumtenceisvitalforundergraduates.Anequalnumberofgirlsandboyswillhelpstudentsbuildingloverelationshipswhichinturndistractstheirattentioninstudy.Further,theratioofboystogirlsismostlydecidedbythecharacteristicoftheschool.Forexample,inmyschool,theratioofboystogirlsis7to3becauseofschool'sconcentrationonscienceandengineering.Bycontract,schools,whichhavetendencyinhumanitiescaneasilyattractmoregirlsthanboys.
otherswouldfindnumbersofboysandgirlsimportantcozmoststudentsattendcollegeintheirearlytwenties---anageoffirstlove.Spendingsomequalitytimewithapersonofoppsitesexseemstobeapersonalneed.Consequently,equalityofnumbersbetweenmalesandfemalesgivesstudentsaneasierwaytofindadate.Isitreallyneccesory?Intermsofage,whichinmyopnion,isalsoacrucialperiodtolearn.Aftergraduation,wearestillcapableoffindinglove,whileonthecontrary,wemayfindnotimetolearnfacedwithsociety.Thusthereisnopointinregulatingtheratioofmalestofemalesinschool.
Comparedwithratioofboystogirls,therearemanyotherfactorsthataremoreessentialtoaschool,suchasfacilities,teachersandthelike.Insteadofbotheringthosethatdonotmatter(e.g.ratio),weshouldworkonmoreimportantthings.
第一次练笔,感觉还是有很多不尽人意的地方.希望能够得到前辈们的点评,帮忙指正,谢谢