请哪位大侠帮我改改这篇托福作文吧...结构,语言,什么问题都可以提

是否同意以下观点?

Ratherthanhelptheirchildrendoschoolwork,parentsshouldencouragetheirchildrendoworkindendently.

Thesedays,parentsarealwayshelpingtheirchildrendoawiderangeofthings,suchascleaningtheirclothes,preparingmealsforthem,andsomeevenstickthespoonsintotheirmouthshelpingthemtoeat.Nowonderthereisasayinggoesthat:themorediligentparentsare,thelazierthechildrentheyhave.So,whenitcomestothetopicthatwhetherparentsshouldhelptheirchildrendoschoolwork,Iwoulddefinitelypreferthestatementthatparentsshouldencouragetheirchildrendotheirworkindependently.

Someparentsmaythinkthathelpingchildrentofinishtheirhomeworkcanreducethetimetheyspendonit,whichmeansthattheycanfinishworksmoreefficiently.However,thiskindofexplanationjustdoesnotmakesense.The“efficient”meansnothingherebecauseit’snotallthechildren’sintelligencebutpartoftheirparentstohelpfinishingit.Besidesthis,Parentstendtothinkthathelpingchildrentodotheirhomeworkmayinspirethemalittleontaskswhentheyhavenoideaonthem.Children,however,whoaretooimmaturetounderstandtheparents’intention,simplyaccepttheanswerswithoutthinkingitthoroughlybythemselves.

Inmyopinion,trainingtheskillofindependenceisvital.Thisnotonlymeanstheindependenceonlife,butalsomentalone-thinkingindependently.Childrenneedtodeveloptheabilitytofigureoutquestionsbythemselves,sothattheirintelligencecanbewelldeveloped.Thefactis,however,toomanyofthemrelyontheirteachersandparents,orevensimplyfollowtheideaofthemwithoutconsideringwhetherthethingstheyteacharerightornot.Inotherwords,theyfailtothinkingoutoftheboxandsimplyfollowother’sthinkingpatterninsteadofgeneratethinkingoftheirown.Iftheteachersandparentsdonotgivechildrenahandthatoften(ofcourse,Idon’tmeanthattheyshouldn’thelpthematall),childrenaremorelikelytofigureoutaproblemdependingonthemselves.Inthisway,theycanhavebetterandbrighterfuture,sinceparentscannothelpchildrenalltheirlifeafterall.