字典翻译 问答 小学 作文 帮忙看下这篇雅思作文大概得多少分?Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?Asacommonargument,ifuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmalean
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帮忙看下这篇雅思作文大概得多少分?Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?Asacommonargument,ifuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmalean
问题描述:

帮忙看下这篇雅思作文大概得多少分?

Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?

Asacommonargument,ifuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubjecthasbeendiscussedforalongtime.Somepeopleholdtheviewthatweshouldtreatdifferentsexualpeopleequallybecauseeveryonehasright.Butinmyopinion,universitiesdonotneedtoacceptthesamenumberofboysandgirlsineverysubject.

Physicalfactorisnotonlythefirstbutthemostimportantreason.Asknowntous,thepowerinboy’sbodyishigherthanthatofgirl.Itdeterminesthatboycandomorepower-workthangirl.Forexample,whenenteredaconstructiveplace,didyouhavethechancetoseeawomenwhowastransportthetricksorathingirlwhowasmixingthecementwithwateranddirt?Itmustbeaterriblesituation.

Secondly,theperformancewillaffectmore.Weeitherenjoytheservesfromasweetfemalenurseortheinjectionfromher.Butifthereisamuscle-maninstead,weallwanttorun.

Finally,thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectaretooemphasistherightsofgirls.Consideringaboutgirls’hearts,equalityisnotthebestchoice.Imagingthat,fewgirlswanttostudyandworkinwherearefullwithdustandsmell.Theyalsodonotliketheheavyboxorstrongsolar.

Accordingtothesereasonsbelow,Ithinkuniversitiesshouldacceptdifferentnumbersofmaleandfemaleinsubjects.Becausenomatterfromphysicalaspectandmentalaspect,maleandfemaleartdifferentroles.

给个评分就好~模拟练习时写的应该比较接近真实成绩了.

李兆杰回答:
  有些用法不地道比如thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectaretooemphasistherightsofgirls.-->应该改成thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldenrollequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectover-emphasizetherightsofgirlsemphasis是名词emphasize才是动词   再比如要是我写最后一段就会写成:   Accordingtoreasonsgivenabove,Iholdtheperspectivethatuniversitiesshouldacceptdifferentnumberofmaleandfemaleinvarioussubjects,forthereasonthat(=because,还可以用afterall)frombothphysicalandmentalaspects,maleandfemaleplaydifferentroles.注意体会修改之后的细微差别,就是你应该注意的地方比如because引导的句子一定不能缺少主句,而你的就是缺少主句了...   通篇语法上也还有点问题,多做同义词替换,再努力一下能得六分   雅思作文不考思想深度个人意见仅供参考加油~
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