字典翻译 问答 小学 作文 帮我改一下这篇托福作文,据说句子太繁琐而且用词简单.Thefriendsthatyoucanhavefunwitharemoreimportantthanthefriendsthatyoucangethelpfrom?Weareliveinagregarioussociety,relyingoncooperationtosustainourlif
问题标题:
帮我改一下这篇托福作文,据说句子太繁琐而且用词简单.Thefriendsthatyoucanhavefunwitharemoreimportantthanthefriendsthatyoucangethelpfrom?Weareliveinagregarioussociety,relyingoncooperationtosustainourlif
问题描述:

帮我改一下这篇托福作文,据说句子太繁琐而且用词简单.

Thefriendsthatyoucanhavefunwitharemoreimportantthanthefriendsthatyoucangethelpfrom?

Weareliveinagregarioussociety,relyingoncooperationtosustainourlife.Soeveryoneneedsfriends.Somefriendsarefunny;somefriendsarelike-minded;somefriendscanhelpyoualot;somefriendsareonlyfair-weatherfriend.Somepeopleholdstheideathatthefriendsthatyoucanhavefunwitharemoreimportantthanthefriendsthatyoucangethelpfrom.Bycontrast,inmyeyes,thefriendswhocanhelpyoualotaremuchmoresignificantthanthefriendswhocanmakeyoulaugh.Myreasonsarefollowing.

Thereisnodenyingthatthefriendsthatyoucanhavefunwithareessencialinyourlife.Youcanmakephonecalls,havepartiesorgoshoppingwiththem,abandonyourselvestofun.Buttheyareonlyfair-weatherfriends,whoareonlywithyouwheningoodconditions.Whenyouhavetofacesomedifficulties,theywillgiveyoutheairanddisappear.Let’stakethefamousmovie,theGreatGatsbywhichadaptedfromanovelofthesamenameforanexample.Whentheprotagonist,Gatsbywasrich,thereweresomanypeoplearoundhim,complimentinghissuccessandgenerosity,goingtohisluxurycastle-likevilatoattendhispartiesweeklyandhavingfunwithhim.Daisy,hisoldloverwhoalreadygotmarried,alsorebuilttherelationshipwithhim.However,whenGatsbygotboggeddownincrisis,thesefair-weatherfriendshaveallgoneandlefthimalone.DaisyalsodecidedtoabandonGatsby.Atlast,evenwhenGatsbydied,onlyfewpeoplecametohisfuneral.Atthattime,DaisywasoutforatriptoEuropewithherhusband.AllthesepeoplewerejustavariciousofGatsby’smoney,tendingtobasetheirrelationshiponGateby’sstatusandsuccess.

However,ontheonehead,everyone’sabilityandideasarelimited.Allofuswillmeetsomedifficultieswhichishardtodealwith.Sometimes,youhavetofacesomedelimmathatcannotbehandledbyyourselves.Atthattime,youwillfindhowimportantthefriendswhocangiveyouahandare.Theforceofapersonisextremelylimited,butifyouhavemanyfriendsthatyoucangethelpfrom,thenthepowerofanorganizationisinapproachable.Inthisway,youcangetoutofthemess,whichyoucannotexpecttogetfromthefair-weatherfriends.O

都思丹回答:
  这么长!先改一段您试看,若满意,再继续.   Thefriendswithwhom(that)youcanhavefunaremoreimportantthanthefriendsfromwhomyoucangethelp?   Weareliving(live)inagregarioussociety,relyingoncooperationtomaintain(sustain)ourlife.So,everyoneneedsfriends.Somefriendsarefunny;somefriendsarelike-minded;somefriendscanhelpyoualot;somefriendsareonlyfair-weatherfriends.Somepeopleholdstheideathatthefriendswhomyoucanhavefunwitharemoreimportantthanthefriendswhomyoucangethelpfrom.Bycontrast,inmyeyes,thefriendswho(can)helpyoualotaremuchmoresignificantthanthefriendswhocanmakeyoulaugh.Myarguements(reasons)arefollowing.
高仁璟回答:
  好的谢谢,可以继续改么?
都思丹回答:
  可以,以后直接改了。下面是第二部分。Thisisnottodenythatthefriendswhomyoucanhavefunwithareessencialinyourlife.Youcancallthemforchattingorgossiping ,andhavepartiesorgoshoppingwiththem,whichmayabandonyourselvestofun,whiletheyarepossiblyonlyfair-weatherfriends,whomaydisappearonceyouhavedifficultiesorevenarenotingoodconditions.Whenyouhavetofacesomehardtimes,theywillgiveyoutheairandnolongershowup.Let’stakethefamousmovie,theGreatGatsby,asanexample, whichisadaptedfromanovelofthesamename.Whentheprotagonist,Gatsbywasrich,thereweresomanypeoplearoundhim,complimentinghissuccessandgenerosity,goingtohisluxurycastle-likevilatoattendhispartiesweeklyandhavingfunwithhim.Daisy,hisoldloverwhohadalreadygotmarried,alsomanagedtorebuildtherelationshipwithhim.
都思丹回答:
  第三部分。However,whenGatsbygotboggeddownincrisis,allthesefair-weatherfriendshadgoneandlefthimalone.DaisyalsodecidedtogetawayfromGatsby.Atlast,evenatthemomentwhenGatsbydied,onlyfewpeoplecametohisfuneral.Atthatverytime,DaisywasoutforatriptoEuropewithherhusband.AllthesepeoplewerejustavariciousofGatsby’smoney,judgingtheirrelationshipsnobbishlyaccoringtoGateby’sstatusandsuccess.However,ontheonehand,everyone’sabilityandideasarelimited.Allofuswillmeetsomedifficultieshardtodealwith.Sometimes,youhavetofacesomedelimmathatcannotbehandledbyyourselves.Atthattime,youwillfindhowimportantthefriendswhocangiveyouahandare.Theforceofasinglepersonisreallyweak,butifyouhavemanyfriendswhomayprovideyoustrongsupport,thenthepoweryouwouldhavewillbeinapproachable,becauseisfromagroupofpeople,orevenaninformalorganization.
都思丹回答:
  最后。Ontheotherhand,twoheadsarebetterthanonehead.Ifyouhavegenuinefriendsthatyoucantrustandgethelpfrom,youcanhelpeachotherandexchangeyourideas,bywhichyouwillbeabletoopenyourmindandmakeyourselfmorecreativeandthoughtful.Inconclusion,asfarasIamconcerned,thefriendswhoarehelpfularemoreimportantthanthefunnyones.Theywon’tabandonyouandleaveyoualonewhenyouareintrouble.Astheoldsayinggoes,afriendinneedisafriendindeed,thehelpfulfriendswillwithyounomattertheweatherisfairorbad.
都思丹回答:
  手机上改的,请再次检查拼写。
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