字典翻译 问答 小学 作文 雅思小作文求批改!(剑7Test2)第一次写.这个值6分么.ThisgraphdemonstrateshowtheamountoffishandsomeotherkindsofmeatconsumedbyEuropeancitizenschangedfrom1979to2004.Asisshowninthecurve,theconsumptionoffis
问题标题:
雅思小作文求批改!(剑7Test2)第一次写.这个值6分么.ThisgraphdemonstrateshowtheamountoffishandsomeotherkindsofmeatconsumedbyEuropeancitizenschangedfrom1979to2004.Asisshowninthecurve,theconsumptionoffis
问题描述:

雅思小作文求批改!(剑7Test2)

第一次写.这个值6分么.

ThisgraphdemonstrateshowtheamountoffishandsomeotherkindsofmeatconsumedbyEuropeancitizenschangedfrom1979to2004.

Asisshowninthecurve,theconsumptionoffishremainedsteadyduringthisperiod(50gramsperpersonperweek).Lamb,whichwasconsumed150gramsin1979,wereeatenlessthanbefore.Itsconsumptionwasalmostdecliningallthetime,andtherefore,apersononlybought50gramsperweekin2004.Inaddition,it'sclearthatbeefwasthemostpopularchoiceforEuropeansin1979(220grams).However,theconsumptionofbeefhasbeenonthedecreasesincethen.In2004,thisfigurerespectivelydroppedto100.Ontheotherhand,chickenwereeatenmorebyEuropeansduringthistime.Theconsumptionincreasedfrom150to250gramsperpersonperday.

Obviously,chickenhasbecomethemostpopularmeat,overtakingbeef.

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  总体评分:6分   优点:能够把图表描述的非常清楚,句型和语法没有明显的错误,   缺点:描述的太过详细,有点像记流水账,文章最后自己的观点太少,只有那么一句话,可以再适当的发挥一些,还有可提升的空间!
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