雅思作文,麻烦改改错,

题：Insomecountriesyoungpeopleareencouragedtoworkortravelforayearbetweenfinishinghighschoolandstartinguniversitystudies.

Discusstheadvantagesanddisadvantagesforyoungpeoplewhodecidetodothis.

Inthisdayandage,itisuniversallyarguedthatwhetherstudentsshouldgotoworkortravelforayearaftertheirgraduationofhighschool.Inmyessay,Iwilldescribebothupsideanddownsideaboutthisissue.

Theadvantagesofworkingortravelingbeforetheystepintothecollegesarealot.Tostartwith,itcanexpendpeople’shorizonbyworkingortraveling.Theycanlearnalargeamountofknowledgeaboutcolorfullifeandcomplicatesociety,whichcannotbelearnedinbooks.Forthepeoplelivinginneedy,goingtoworkisthebestwaytorelievefamily’sfinancialburden,ontheotherhand,forthepeoplelivinginawealthylife,itcanenrichtheirsocialexperience.Withtheprocessofsociety,thepopulationisboomingandthecompetitionisincreasinglystiff.Toavoidlosingcompetitiveamongpeople,theyshouldfulfilltheirpotentialinworkingortravelingandexpendtheiroutlook.

Incontrast,thedisadvantagesofthatarealsoobvious.Thefirstandthemostessentialoneisitismoretime-consumingiftheytakeayeartodosomethingelseinsteadofstudying.Therefore,itwillwidenthegapbetweenthepeoplewhogotouniversityandthepeoplewhoarenot.Peoplewhobenefitfromtheirworkmaychangetheirmindsandgiveupstudying---butwhichmaynothappenbecausegraduatingfromauniversityisplayapivotalroleinthemodernsociety.

Basedonthetwosidesabove.Iadmitthatworkortravelmaynotfitsomeyoungpeoplebeforetheygotouniversity.However,thebenefityoucanacquireismuchmorethantheshortage.Forthisreason,Ibelieveyoungpeopleshouldbeencouragedtodowhattheywanttodo.