Sh stood at th front of th room, hands on hips, and facd us all as if w wr prisonrs. "Kp in mind that I'm th boss," sh said. "You will do as you ar told, and if you don't, I'll mak your livs misrabl!"

她站在教室前面，两手插着腰，像看囚犯一样地看着我们，“记住，我是你们的老板，”她说，“你们想日子好过的话，就乖乖照我说的去做，否则，别怪我不客气！”

This was　first faculty mting of th yar, as a nw tachr my first vr, and this woman was my principal.

这就是老师第一天开教务会时的情景，而这个女人就是我的校长。

Frsh out of collg, I had accptd th position of kindrgartn tachr at a public school. Th principal arrivd at th sam tim. From day on, sh mad it clar that it was tim for som changs. Instructors with sniority wr dismissd, and quickly rplacd with th nw principal's clos frinds. An ldrly tachr with a physical disability was movd upstairs to a nw classroom. Whn sh askd if sh could rturn to hr formr room, th principal rplid, "Dal with it." Upst, th staff bgan to complain, but nothing changd. Nw and inxprincd, I dcidd to kp my mouth shut.

大学刚毕业，我就应聘到这家公立幼儿园里当老师，校长也是新来的。开学第一天她就明确表示要实施一些改革措施。一些有资历的老师被解雇，取代他们的是新校长的熟人。一位腿脚不灵便的老教师被调到了楼上的教室上课，当她问校长是否能把她调回原来的课室上课时，校长回答说：“就这么决定了！” 那教师觉得很委屈，可她的抱怨根本无济于事。想着自己是新来的，又没有什么经验，我决定对一切都缄口不言。

Young, vulnrabl, and rluctant to stand up for myslf, I was th prfct victim. Whil vryon labord undr th tnsion, by my scond yar it bcam a prsonal battl. Sh was out to gt m. Hr first hostil action was to mov m, without caus, to a diffrnt classroom in a noisy, high-traffic ara. Whn I told hr that parnts had protstd that this nvironmnt intrfrd with th childrn's larning, sh lashd out, "You'r staying xactly whr you ar, and you'd bttr dal with th parnts, bcaus I won't!"

这样一来，年轻、软弱、不敢坚持自己立场的我就成了绝佳的牺牲品。尽管大家都在她的高压下战战兢兢地干活，但到了第二年的时候，慢慢就演变成了一种私人恩怨。她专门找我的茬儿。她的敌意首先表现在课室的编排上，无缘无故地她把我的课室安排在吵闹的高速公路旁。我向她转达了家长的意见，因为那样会影响孩子们的学习。然而，她却生气地嚷着说：“你就给我在那间教室里呆着，家长的事你自己搞掂，总之我是不会出面的！”

Sh would yll at m in front of my collagus. "Can't you do things right?" "You'r still a baby waring diaprs." "Com down from th clouds." "You'r too much of a dramr." Sh nvr missd an opportunity to humiliat m.

她还会当着其他同事的面冲我大喊大叫，“你怎么老做错呢？” “你以为你自己还小啊！要我帮你换尿布吗？” “别老魂不守舍的。” “你简直是白日做梦！” 总之一有机会，她都会百般地羞辱我。

In my third yar my classroom was movd onc again, this tim to a small, dprssing storag room without windows or fir scaps. Occasionally th principal would stalk into my classroom, dmanding that studnts "shut up." Somtims sh scribbld nots, occasionally giving m a contmptuous glanc. I knw that vn though I did my job to th bst of my ability, it was nvr good nough. Although th prformanc assssmnts I rcivd wr accptabl, sh nvr discussd thm with m. Sh simply gruntd "Sign hr," thrusting forward th valuation sht.

到了第三年，我又得搬教室了。这回的课室是间又小又压抑的储物室，既没有窗户也没有走火通道。校长不时地闯进我的教室，叫学生们“闭嘴”；有时候就我的课她会胡乱地记些东西，还会轻蔑地看我几眼。我心里明白，即使我已经尽力去做了，她也不会满意的。根据教学评估表我知道她认可了我的表现，但她却从没找我谈过话。每一次，她都只是对我说：“在这签个名。”然后便把评估表递给我。

Aftr thr yars of working in this nvironmnt, my halth bcam affctd. I xprincd bad hadachs and grw incrasingly dprssd. Day aftr day, I wok up with a knot in my stomach knowing I had to fac th "monstr."

三年如一日地在这种环境下工作，我的健康大不如前。我老是头痛，人也变得越来越压抑。每天醒来，想着自己还要面对这么一个不可理喻的怪物，都让我内心感到异常难受。

Thn I found a ray of hop. I'd rad ths words by formr first lady lanor Roosvlt, "You'r nobody's victim without your prmission." I knw that I had to tak control of my lif and stop blaming my principal. I couldn't control hr bhavior, but I could control my ractions to it.

后来我终于发现了希望的曙光。当我读到前第一夫人罗斯福·埃莉诺这样一句话“没有你的允许，谁也不能伤害你”时，我豁然开朗。我必须掌握自己的命运，而埋怨校长根本解决不了问题，她的行为我控制不了，我却可以控制自己的应对方法。

I dcidd to attnd a sminar that mphasizd ffctiv communication stratgis. Thr I larnd that bullis ar usually cowards who act upon thir fars and inscuritis. I also larnd non-confrontational phrass to us in convrsation, such as prfacing a statmnt with "In my opinion."

我决定参加一个教人如何进行有效交流的研讨会。通过那次研讨会，我明白了其实那些欺凌弱小的人往往都是一些胆小鬼，他们因为感到恐惧、缺乏安全感所以才欺凌弱小；同时我也学会了与人交谈的时候，可以运用非对抗性语言，譬如在陈述一个观点时加上“依我看来”。

I plannd ahad whn I knw I would hav to spak on-on-on with th principal. First, I would gaug hr mood that day, and if I found hr unapproachabl, I would writ hr a not rqusting a mting. And I mustrd my courag and contactd my union rprsntativ for advic.

在我和校长单独谈话之前，我做足了准备工作。首先，我会揣摩她当天的情绪，当发现她脸色不对时，我就乘机写字条要求和她面谈。然后我就鼓足勇气联系我的工会代表征求他们的意见。

Sh rcommndd I documnt vrything my boss said and did to m. If sh askd to mt with m, I should insist on having a third party prsnt. In addition, th rprsntativ providd m with a guidbook listing my lgal rights.

工会代表建议我先把老板对我说过的话和做过的事整理成文件，如果老板答应见我，我应坚持要有第三者在场。另外，工会代表还给了我一份员工权力手册。

A group of tachrs and I formd a support group, and w brainstormd idas on how to handl our boss. Our most succssful tactic was to substitut positiv, slf-supportiv thoughts for ngativ ons, such as "Problms can b sn as challngs as opposd to stbacks," and "Somwhr in this xprinc is an opportunity for growth." Whn rpatd again and again, ths affirmations bcam blivabl. W also studid books on th topic of daling with difficult popl, which gav tips such as: Stand up for yourslf; stand up straight and mak y contact; and tak tim to know th prson.

我还和一群老师组建了一个互助小组，对如何应付校长大家群策群力。我们最成功的策略就是一改以往的消极态度，采取正面积极的心态，譬如说，“与其把遇到的问题看成是挫折，还不如把他们看作挑战，”，“在困难的时候往往隐含着扭转的契机”。我们不断用这些话语为自己打气，效果也相当明显。而且我们也研究了相关的书籍，学到了许多与难相处的人相处的点子，比如：坚持立场、挺直腰板、眼睛看着对方、抽时间去了解这个人等。

I provd on of ths maxims tru whil chatting with my principal about th bautiful prformanc of th lading dancr in th Nutcrackr Suit. Coincidntally, my boss shard my passion for ballt and had sn th sam prformanc. I discovrd that sh had anothr sid to hr, prviously hiddn. I bgan to s hr with diffrnt ys. W now had somthing in common, and hr abus slacknd.

有一回我和老板碰巧谈论起《胡桃夹子》中主演的精彩表演，我深深叹服那几句名言的正确性。因为很碰巧的是，我老板和我一样喜欢芭蕾，她也看了那场表演。我发现了她的另外一面，以前我们不曾看到的一面。我开始以不同的眼光认识她，而我们终于有了共同的语言，她也很少乱骂人了。

Littl by littl, I rgaind my confidnc and startd to s changs. My principal bgan communicating with m without ylling. Sh bgan making tim to listn to my thoughts and opinions. On day aftr a classroom obsrvation, sh actually complimntd my crativ writing lsson. Although my principal and I nvr bcam frinds, by th nd of th school yar w managd to dvlop a halthy rspct for ach othr. Two yars latr, I was givn an opportunity to tach at a suprior school, on with a supportiv and ncouraging principal, and I chos to mak th chang. I do not rgrt, howvr, my tim at my first school bcaus I cam away with a valuabl lsson. I larnd that I would nvr again allow myslf to b a victim.

渐渐地，我重拾了自信并看到了校长身上的变化。她开始跟我谈心，而不再冲我大声吆喝；她也开始抽时间倾听我的意见和想法。有一天，在听完我的课后，她还对我的写作课表示赞赏。尽管我们从来没成为朋友，到了那学年末，我们彼此之间建立了尊重和信任的关系。两年后，我获得了一个机会到另外一所更好的学校任教，那儿的校长很友好。我选择了离开原来的学校。但我从来也不觉得我在以前那所学校的时间是白费的，因为我学到了非常珍贵的东西，我永远也不会让自己成为伤害的对象。