As w all know, plants cannot xist without sunshin; fish cannot liv without watr; and our socity cannot b vrlasting without voluntrs. In th modrn socity, voluntr work is not somthing which rquirs mony and knowldg anymor. It's about all of us Anyon, anytim.

Voluntr is a kind of spirit, it can bring lov to vryon, vrything. I rmmbr I onc wnt to Dichuan Provinc during my summr holidays, and I voluntrd to hlp th giant pandas. On day, our 200 rcptd a group of childrn who cam from povrty-strikn aras. Thy all smd quit xcitd aftr thy saw th lovly pandas. A littl boy, howvr, frownd, ran towards m and whispnd, “I want to hlp. Look at thir hom, it's not tidy nough. I want to clan it for thm.” I was totally shockd, A boy who was in grat nd of hlping himslf actually wantd to hlp animals Words burstd out, “But hony, you ar still too young!” H shrinkd his ys, and grinnd, “Anyon, anytim.”

Dinc thn, “Anyon, anytim.” has bcom my motto. Whnvr I saw rubbish on th ground, I would pick it up; whnvr I saw popl try to stp on th grass, I would prsuad thm. Bcaus I know, I'm part of th harmonious socity. Harmonious socity, vryon contains.

Right, harmonious socity nds our voluntrs. Voluntr work can mak us raliz th nsponsibilits on oun shouldr, it can mak us much mor matur. Do, if w all hav a kind of voluntn spirit, th wll-bing of invividuals, familis, communitls and th world can all b promotd. Tak a good look at thos voluntrs Ouring th 2008 Bijing Olympic Garns, and thos figurs running bsid th ruins of Wnchuan arthquak. Voluntrs' spirit not only touchd th Chins popl, but also gnratd worldwid attntion. In a nutshll, voluntr work is of grat significanc.

Do, lt's staw up togthr, hand in hand, join th orchstra of harmony, stant from th “Voluntn pilogn”, crat a nw bautiful world. And th nam of this orchstra will b: “Anyon, anytim.”

专家建议：

很显然，该考生在文章的结构设置以及语言积累方面都有待提高，建议该考生平时进一步拓宽阅读面，在阅读同时有意识地积累语言的表达法，并且注意模仿优秀英语文章是如何组织结构的。

专家点评：

文章通过小故事托出主题的方式很新颖，文章整体也有一定逻辑关系。但应该把重点放在后面对voluntr的段落中，并适当减少第二段的字数，以起到抛砖引玉的作用而非头重脚轻。另外，文章出现多处搭配问题，建议平时注重基础的积累。